∙ Banta: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
Santa: The taste.
∙ Jeeto: Why do Farts stink?
Santa: So that Deaf people can enjoy them too!
∙ Santa: I▓m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What▓s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
∙ At a football match ground. Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne?
Boy: Goal karan lai.
Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey.
∙ Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
∙ Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.
∙ Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
Banta: Oh! That▓s terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions."
∙ Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
∙ Santa and Jeeto were on an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his jaws.
Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him!
Santa: I can't. I ran out of film.
∙ What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.
∙ Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
∙ Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!
∙ Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
∙ Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.
∙ Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.
∙ Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
∙ Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats....
∙ Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
∙ Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
∙ Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
∙ Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pappu: Life imprisonment!
∙ Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It▓s ****. Sant: U r wrong. It▓s 1394.
∙ Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
∙ Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
∙ Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
Get your own back
Them: Here's 10p - go and tell your mum you're not coming home
You: Here's a pound - go and buy yourself some breath freshener
Them: I never forget a face
You: Neither do I but in your case I'll make an exception
Santa: The taste.
∙ Jeeto: Why do Farts stink?
Santa: So that Deaf people can enjoy them too!
∙ Santa: I▓m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What▓s he studying?"
Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!
∙ At a football match ground. Santa: Ye log ball nu foot kyun maar rahe ne?
Boy: Goal karan lai.
Santa: Paar ball tan pehlan hi gol hai hor kinni gol karangey.
∙ Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "
A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."
∙ Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.
∙ Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
Banta: Oh! That▓s terrible.
Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions."
∙ Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other.
Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth.
∙ Santa and Jeeto were on an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his jaws.
Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him!
Santa: I can't. I ran out of film.
∙ What's Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What's Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.
∙ Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
∙ Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window?
A: He wanted to see butterfly!
∙ Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye.
Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!
∙ Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start?
Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray.
∙ Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary.
Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous.
∙ Once Professor Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why?
Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
∙ Banta: Why is the Police nicknamed "The heart of the country"?
Santa: It beats, beats, beats....
∙ Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.
∙ Petrol ke rate badhne par Santa bola: "Menu koi farak nahin penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
∙ Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
∙ Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.
Pappu: Life imprisonment!
∙ Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It▓s ****. Sant: U r wrong. It▓s 1394.
∙ Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"
∙ Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut? A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
∙ Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"
Get your own back
Them: Here's 10p - go and tell your mum you're not coming home
You: Here's a pound - go and buy yourself some breath freshener
Them: I never forget a face
You: Neither do I but in your case I'll make an exception
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