∙ What's the difference between a person who is committing suicide & a virgin? One is trying to die... the other is dying to try
∙ Teacher: Explain Responsibility?
Pappu: Madam ur blouse has 4 buttons, if 3 buttons break down the entire responsibility'll b on the 4th one
∙ Jeeto goes 2 repair umbrella. The man said: Upar ka kapda nikalna padega, Neeche se danda dalna padega.
Jeeto: Kuch bhi karo but pani andar nahi ana chaiye
∙ Banta: Y is reading a Playboy mag like reading National Geographic?
Santa: Coz in both u'll get to see a lot of gr8 places, which u'll never get to visit.
∙ A female Press Reporter slaps Santa. Banta standing near asks Santa: Y did she slap u?
Santa: On her T-shirt was written 'Press', so I just pressed┘
∙ Santa was asked to give a talk on Sex
He walked to the podium, adjusted the microphone & said: Ladies n Gentlemen, it gives me gr8 pleasure...
And sat back down
∙ Preeto: Suno ji, aaj phir billi dudh pi gayee.
Santa: Main tainu kinni vaari keha hai ki apne blouse de button band karke soya kar.
∙ Santa to Amli: Yaar thodi jahi afeem devin kise nu deni hai.
Amli: Oye afeem khake loki lende tan bahut dekhe ne par den wala tu hi milaya.
∙ Santa: Yaar meri biwi pani se bahut darti hai.
Banta: Achaa, wo kaise?
Santa: Kal mein jab ghar gaya to wo bath tub mai bhi security guard ke saath baithi thi
∙ Santa runing after a bus n, catches it n asks the Driver: Ye bus teri Ma lagti hai?
Nahin.
To kya Behan lagti hai?
Nahin.
To phir chadne kyun nahin deta?
∙ Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.
Lady: Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain!
Santa: Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta.
∙ Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for identification parade. When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta shout together: Yahi thee, Yahi thee"
∙ Q: What is the best family planning slogan on a municipal bus?
A: Kripaya aage se nahin peeche se chadhiye.
∙ Santa was pissing when a gal saw his huge penis & said naughtily: Wow I wud luv to have that.
Santa: Go & get a cup, I'm about to finish.
∙ Judge: Y do u want divorce?
Banta: She doesn't satisfy me in bed!
Preeto: Tu aithey dc lagyan? Sari colony khush aa, ik teri agg nahin bhujdi.
∙ Teacher: What do you call a man that doesn't use contraceptives?
Pappu: Daddy.
∙ A man is doing push ups on the beach. Drunk Santa sees him and starts laughing loudly and says:
Sorry to tell you but the women below you has already left.
∙ Judge: U want to divorce Santa 4 threatening u with a deadly weapon?
Jeeto: No, ur honor. I'm divorcing him 4 threatening me every night with a dead weapon.
∙ Jeeto: Kal ek aadmi aya aur mere sath sex karke chala gaya.
Santa: Tumne use roka nahi?
Jeeto: Bahut kaha rukne ke liye, bola kal phir aaunga.
∙ Santa was sukin girlfriend's breasts.
Gal got excited n said: Tussi hor kuch chahney ho?
Santa: Doodh naal biscuit milangey?
Gurdas Maan: Santa ji, aapke bhai ki shaadi mein kitne gaane gaane hain, us hisab se rate lagega?
Santa: 2-3 gaa kar prg shuru kar dena, baad mein sharabi baraat ne generator ki awaaz par hi naachte rehna hai
∙ Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.
Banta asked: What are you doing?
Santa: Drying sweat
∙ Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered: Waiting for autumn.
∙ Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?
Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.
∙ Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?
∙ Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who's Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.
∙ An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
∙ Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 Watt bulb.
Santa asked him: What are you doing?
Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.
∙ Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
∙ Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more
Santa: Saaleya Morniya char laiyan, meri wari no more
∙ Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else.
∙ Teacher: Explain Responsibility?
Pappu: Madam ur blouse has 4 buttons, if 3 buttons break down the entire responsibility'll b on the 4th one
∙ Jeeto goes 2 repair umbrella. The man said: Upar ka kapda nikalna padega, Neeche se danda dalna padega.
Jeeto: Kuch bhi karo but pani andar nahi ana chaiye
∙ Banta: Y is reading a Playboy mag like reading National Geographic?
Santa: Coz in both u'll get to see a lot of gr8 places, which u'll never get to visit.
∙ A female Press Reporter slaps Santa. Banta standing near asks Santa: Y did she slap u?
Santa: On her T-shirt was written 'Press', so I just pressed┘
∙ Santa was asked to give a talk on Sex
He walked to the podium, adjusted the microphone & said: Ladies n Gentlemen, it gives me gr8 pleasure...
And sat back down
∙ Preeto: Suno ji, aaj phir billi dudh pi gayee.
Santa: Main tainu kinni vaari keha hai ki apne blouse de button band karke soya kar.
∙ Santa to Amli: Yaar thodi jahi afeem devin kise nu deni hai.
Amli: Oye afeem khake loki lende tan bahut dekhe ne par den wala tu hi milaya.
∙ Santa: Yaar meri biwi pani se bahut darti hai.
Banta: Achaa, wo kaise?
Santa: Kal mein jab ghar gaya to wo bath tub mai bhi security guard ke saath baithi thi
∙ Santa runing after a bus n, catches it n asks the Driver: Ye bus teri Ma lagti hai?
Nahin.
To kya Behan lagti hai?
Nahin.
To phir chadne kyun nahin deta?
∙ Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.
Lady: Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain!
Santa: Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta.
∙ Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for identification parade. When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta shout together: Yahi thee, Yahi thee"
∙ Q: What is the best family planning slogan on a municipal bus?
A: Kripaya aage se nahin peeche se chadhiye.
∙ Santa was pissing when a gal saw his huge penis & said naughtily: Wow I wud luv to have that.
Santa: Go & get a cup, I'm about to finish.
∙ Judge: Y do u want divorce?
Banta: She doesn't satisfy me in bed!
Preeto: Tu aithey dc lagyan? Sari colony khush aa, ik teri agg nahin bhujdi.
∙ Teacher: What do you call a man that doesn't use contraceptives?
Pappu: Daddy.
∙ A man is doing push ups on the beach. Drunk Santa sees him and starts laughing loudly and says:
Sorry to tell you but the women below you has already left.
∙ Judge: U want to divorce Santa 4 threatening u with a deadly weapon?
Jeeto: No, ur honor. I'm divorcing him 4 threatening me every night with a dead weapon.
∙ Jeeto: Kal ek aadmi aya aur mere sath sex karke chala gaya.
Santa: Tumne use roka nahi?
Jeeto: Bahut kaha rukne ke liye, bola kal phir aaunga.
∙ Santa was sukin girlfriend's breasts.
Gal got excited n said: Tussi hor kuch chahney ho?
Santa: Doodh naal biscuit milangey?
Gurdas Maan: Santa ji, aapke bhai ki shaadi mein kitne gaane gaane hain, us hisab se rate lagega?
Santa: 2-3 gaa kar prg shuru kar dena, baad mein sharabi baraat ne generator ki awaaz par hi naachte rehna hai
∙ Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day.
Banta asked: What are you doing?
Santa: Drying sweat
∙ Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered: Waiting for autumn.
∙ Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho?
Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.
∙ Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?
∙ Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who's Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.
∙ An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.
∙ Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 Watt bulb.
Santa asked him: What are you doing?
Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.
∙ Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
∙ Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along with 3 women.
When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more
Santa: Saaleya Morniya char laiyan, meri wari no more
∙ Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet!
Santa: Why don't u cook something else.
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